Many years ago, not yet married, probably 1965, I almost lost my mind! I had been kicked out of UP Los Baños (Extreme Delinquent), was silently but publicly insulted, resulting in my breaking off with my girlfriend – family pride destroyed, personal pride shattered.
Fortunately, there was a psychiatrist of sort in town, Asingan in Pangasinan, and he saved me from the jaws of mental death. Literally. But I was still mentally disturbed and had difficulty sleeping at night – until I read in a book of psychology, being a wide reader, that I had to “confront my fear.”
That was 36 years before the Internet came to the Philippines. Today, you can read many books and/or articles about the many ways of how to “Confront Your Fear.” I will mention one source here, but I want to tell you right now that I have kept my sanity because I am a creative person. I cannot run out of topics to write about, or I do not have to repeat my formula for writing because I am an original aboriginal – Ilocano. A quote from British wit Oscar Wilde is a great help to me in my inventiveness:
Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll.
The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist sees the hole!
(Doughnut & quote image[1] from Donut Magic)
If you see humor, you’re all right!
You are also okay if you are an optimist:
You can see Opportunity where others see Obstruction.
You can see Option where others see Obstacles.
You can see Donuts where others see only Holes!
Now: What do you do when you cannot be an optimist? Listen to what a friend told Damisok (28 October 2016, “How To Confront Your Fears (Explained)[2],” BTS Media Blog):
You need to look deep within yourself and separate yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself.
The Worrier You versus the Better You. Damisok says:
Fear is not a sign of abnormality or weakness… Fear is a healthy feeling. It is the brain’s reaction when overwhelmed by an unpleasant situation. Being fearless is basically leveraging fear. It is knowing how to manage fear so it doesn’t overwhelm you.
Damisok advises you:
#10. Get a mentor or a life coach.
#09. Read a book.
#08. Watch an inspirational movie.
#07. Tell yourself a story.
#06. Talk about it to someone.
#05. Change your thinking – eliminate the negatives.
#04. Write it down.
#03. Speak positive words out aloud to yourself.
#02. Show some gratitude.
#01. Go out and do something. The more you do something, the better you become at it and the more confidence you gain.
My single advice is: Do something good for others. That has been my advice to myself in the last 45 years: I write good for others.@517
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